Fail better. Dig deeper.
These two reminders can help us follow the greatest commandments.
“‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” Matthew 22:37-39
I’m a superfan of classic Hollywood cinema. Because I’ve always appreciated the insight TCM host Alicia Malone provides in her film introductions, I picked up a copy of her latest book and was wonderfully surprised by this intrusion of grace on page 12: “As I type this, I have two Post-it Notes stuck on my computer. One reads, ‘Dig deeper,’ and the other, ‘Fail better.’”
Malone’s intention was to offer insight into classic movies, not provide Christian enlightenment. Revelation, however, is wherever you find it, and Malone’s Post-its “stuck” with me.
That’s because they have succinctly helped guide me to follow the two great commandments at a juncture when I was starting to wonder if I’d ever be able to keep them. To refresh your memory, Jesus said those commandments are first to love God with all your mind and soul and strength, and second to love others as you love yourself.
Loving God means, in part, obeying Him. His precepts—written both in the Word and on our hearts—are hardly the heavy burden outsiders sometimes make them out to be. Nevertheless, we all struggle to keep at least some of them.
I confess. Being a middle school teacher, I often struggle to exercise patience and speak with kindness. Even when I start the day in the right frame of heart, it can all fall apart the moment a student tells me he dropped the pencil sharpener and now it’s broken and the carpet is covered in shavings. After having said some curt, punishing thing to the unfortunate child, it has helped me take a deep breath and say to myself, “Fail better.” Later, with those two words echoing in my mind, I speak more kindly to the student who has written all over the copy of the test questions I told the class ten times not to write on. I’m still not perfect, but I’m improving. I’m failing better.
“Fail better” reminds me that I can only arc toward righteousness, not attain it. The words are a cue that “No one is righteous. Not even one.” They encourage me to step more carefully in the footprints of my Lord. By leading with the word failure, the phrase humbles me, reminding me of who I am in comparison to God. Only through Him can I ever be anything more than a failure.
“Dig deeper” relates to the second commandment to love others. How? By reminding us that the key to loving them is knowing them. Ray Bradbury said, “A stranger is shot in the street, you hardly move to help. But if, half an hour before, you spent just ten minutes with the fellow and knew a little about him and his family, you might jump in front of his killer and try to stop it.” It’s sad but true because knowing people beyond “Hello” or “Good morning”—digging deeper—reveals aspects of ourselves within them, and that can help us treat them as we would like to be treated.
Digging deeper also helps us to judge others by their best intentions. If a friend bumps into our car, we assume it’s a harmless accident. If a stranger does it, we immediately jump to the worst conclusions. Digging deeper flips strangers into friends. Instead of judging or dismissing that coworker who’s always grumpy, dig deeper; you might find a reason for compassion or an opportunity to help. Someone once told me to stop trying to be interesting and try to be interested in others. Digging deeper is the key to doing that.
“Fail better” and “Dig deeper” are four simple words that have considerably improved my faith. I plan on keeping them close in my memory to help me whenever the two greatest commandments are far from my heart.
Graceful contemplation
“Ever try? Ever fail? No matter. Try harder. Fail better.”
— Samuel Beckett
Thank you for reading!
February was a difficult one for a number of my students, some of whom have lost or are in the process of losing parents. Please say a prayer for them (and me, please, as I do my best to help them).
And, as always, thank you so much for reading!
Praying for your students, and you. 🩷
So good. 😊